When to let go…

How do you walk away from someone you love whether it’s a friend, spouse, or lover? I honestly don’t know. It’s definitely not easy that’s for sure. God knows I’ve tried.  There is nothing worse than being hurt by the one person you never thought would hurt you.  There are no words to describe the pain and heartache I’ve experienced because of the actions of one person.  I felt lost and alone. It was horrible but that was then, now things are a little different. I’m just taking it one day at a time…

All I know is that I will never allow anyone to make me feel that pain again. With every tear shed, I’ve gotten stronger and stronger.  Sometimes you just have to let go and love certain people from a distance.  It doesn’t mean that person is bad, it’s just that their story has to come to an end and they no longer serve any purpose in your life.  It’s not easy saying good-bye but sometimes you just have too. I learned the hard way and  I’m still learning lessons.

Perhaps we expect to much from the people we love.  Note to self: Expectations lead to disappointments!  

Until next time… Ciao

Doubt

I’ve learned that when something is eating me up inside that I have to face the issue head on. It’s not always the easiest questions to ask but I rather ask then stay with doubt. Doubt ruins everything…wouldn’t you agree?

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

Today, I asked a dear friend some tough questions, I just needed to look into his eyes and get his reaction. It wasn’t easy, to be honest. I didn’t think about the consequences of knowing the truth. I didn’t care. I just needed to know even if that meant having my heart-broken. I rather be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie because the truth hurts only once but a lie every time you remember it.

There is no room in my garden of orchids, for seeds of doubt.

Peace & Love xox

The difference

The difference between you and me.

When I have time.
You have plans.
When you have time.
I have plans but usually make the time.

It’s the little things that matter most.
Not the splendid gifts and lavish lunches.
It’s the moments that are unplanned.
The moments that I don’t have to ask for your time.

It’s those moments… if only you could see.

A simple letter…

My dearest,

I don’t know why it’s so hard to talk to you.  I don’t know why I fear your thoughts.  I don’t know why I get a knot in my throat when you ask about my feelings. I don’t know why you make me question everything. I don’t know why you make me happy, sad, and angry – sometimes all at once.  I don’t know why you love me.  I don’t know why I love you.  I don’t know if you’re a blessing or a lesson.  What I do know is that I wouldn’t change you for the world.

I belong with you, you belong with me
You’re my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me
You’re my sweetheart

With love always,

Peace & Love xox

Can Love Conquer All?

I still want to believe that with love everything is possible but is it realistic thinking? I’ve heard too many sad love stories lately and it just got me thinking.  Is everything bearable with love?  I use the word bearable because it seems like these days it’s getting harder for people to stay together.  What about love, doesn’t Love conquer it all?  When it comes to matters of the heart, I guess anything is possible.

Perhaps I’m a hopeless romantic.  I’m 36 years old (believe it), my parents are still married, and I’ve been with my husband almost 19 years so when I hear people’s stories about their failed marriages/relationships, it saddens me.  Every relationship, every marriage, is different but I do believe when you truly love your partner you can learn to look past the flaws, imperfections, and perhaps some mistakes. Right!?  You have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask, “Are you perfect?” Sorry to burst your bubble, but no one is…  Plain and simple.

I believe to have a strong relationship you must allow each other to grow as individuals because sacrificing all your individual needs doesn’t strengthen a relationship. Allow your partner time for themselves… (don’t live in fear) The same way people change, love changes — everything changes.  “Like running water, changing love finds its way past obstacles.  Freezing it in place makes it fragile, rigid, and all too likely to shatter.” (read that statement again…)

Another thing, don’t use manipulation to control your partners feelings and actions.  Learn the skill of communication — speak the truth and nothing but the truth.  You don’t need to be afraid to communicate your real feelings, needs, and desires.  Be yourself and even if you don’t get the reaction you want, then so be it.  If you have to force it then it’s not real love.  Do you really want someone who hangs on your every word and only does what you want? Seriously?  It’s a lonely and miserable road ahead if you answered yes to that question.  Think about it…

At the end of the day, I’ve learned that it’s up too you and only you to decide whether your love is strong enough to withstand any obstacles.  People change, feelings change — that’s life.  Sometimes the words for better or worse no longer mean anything.

I’ll leave you with this quote:

To keep the fire burning brightly there’s one easy rule:  Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart – about a finger’s breadth – for breathing room.  Good fire, good marriage, same rule.

Do you think LOVE can conquer all?

Peace and Love xox

A conversation overheard…

I was minding my business just waiting for my food when I could not help but over hear the conversation coming from the next table.  Those girls were not holding back.  I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop on their private conversation but they were talking loud and didn’t seem to care so I just sat back and pretended to be playing with my phone. 😉

From what I heard, one of the girls was telling her friend about the other man she was seeing.  Wait a minute, did she just say, “other man.” I wonder if she was married? This conversation just got more interesting.  Apparently, she is having an affair with a married man and she’s upset because he doesn’t make time for her and takes her for granted.     This is what I’m assuming based on what I heard.

OH MY GOD! WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY!? WOW… This woman is nuts.

As I sat there and listened in horror to the stories, I could not help but think how ignorance is truly bliss. Does that woman not know that she is nothing more than just a fuck (pardon my french).  That other man will never leave his wife for her. (Do they ever!?) She will NEVER get the same attention. Why is she upset? She is simply the other woman in his eyes! Perhaps common sense is not so common. Seriously!? Oh — how I wanted to get up and speak my mind… :biting my tongue:

I giggled to myself and thought, this poor girl has a lot of growing up to do.  I could hear the arrogance in her voice — she was proud of what she was doing. (BITCH) Needless to say, her friends didn’t say much they just sat there… I wonder what they were thinking!?  What do you think? I’m still shaking my head.  All I can say that it was an interesting 20 minutes.  Crazy!

I’m not holding any judgements, I believe people should live their life the way they want but some people need to learn how to keep their mouths shut. There are certain things that should be kept to yourself. I still can’t believe this girl was telling her girlfriends about her indiscretions? I’m still in shock. That’s why people get caught with their hands in the cookie jar if you know what I mean.  All it takes is for someone she knows to hear part of that conversation, put 2+2 together and start some juicy gossip.  It just takes a small seed of doubt to be planted and then the bullshit that follows.

What have you overheard lately?  Anything juicy?

Until later… Peace & Love xox

If you search, you will find…

If you suspected your spouse or significant other of cheating would you search for evidence or let it play out?  Now, that’s the million dollar question!?  Think about it for a minute – what would you do?  What I know is that if you search for something, you will find it.  Just be prepared.  Why is it that we (humans) have to know it all? #thoughts

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

What made you suspicious? Was it questionable behavior, small changes, dishonesty, or simply your gut?  Whatever the reason, you now suspect something but what to do?

You have three choices…

1. Give them enough rope and see if they will hang themselves.
2. Confront them with your suspicion but be ready for some backlash and denial.
3. Search and do your research but don’t forget… If you seek and you will find.

There are not many other choices.  If I were you, I would go with option #1. Give the person enough freedom and the truth will soon come out. It’s just a matter of time. (Always stay ahead of the game.)  It’s better to have solid evidence than face your partner with a mere suspicion. If that were the case, everyone is a suspect. HA!

On that note…

At the end of the day, go with your gut!  Don’t believe what anyone tells you. If you believe in your heart something is going on then search but if you find something be ready for what’s to come.  If you choose to stay or leave its your business and NO ONE should judge or criticize you.

My dear friend, stop asking the questions you already know the answer to. It’s your life, and you choose to live it the way you want with who you want. It’s that simple.

Sometimes it takes more courage to walk away…

Until later…to be continued.

Peace & Love xoxo

Friendships…

It never seems to amaze me that some people don’t know the meaning of FRIENDSHIP.  I’m pretty sure I have already ranted on this subject in my earlier blogs but that’s O.K. I will continue the rant. 😉

Friendship isn’t a big thing it’s a million little things.

True friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient, it’s about being there when it’s not.

You have probably heard these statements before and for me they are both true. The doors of friendship swings both ways.  It is not a one way street.  I’m not saying that if you have a best friend you need to talk to them 24/7 – 7 days a week, but at least make the time to catch up during the week.  My best friend and I don’t talk on the phone everyday but we do text often and once a week (if we can) we meet up for girl time gossip/catch up.   We are both our own person and we say what’s on our mind even if we disagree with each other. 

I don’t know about you, but I rather a friend who is her own person and speaks what’s in her heart oppose to a friend that only agrees with me.  If I wanted to talk to myself all I have to do is look in the mirror.   You need a friend who is going to give you a different perspective on things.  When you listen with an open mind and hold no judgements you can take in whatever they say and see it from their point of view even if you disagree.  No need to get upset and storm off like a child. 

My best friend and I have been friends for almost 19 yrs.  Amazing, right!?  I can tell you that we are completely different in many ways but that’s the magic of it.  She knows I’m flawed and I know she’s flawed.  We are not perfect and sometimes we may say things that may hurt but if you have a solid friendship you can be honest and speak up. 

I’ve had other friendships in the past that I thought were meaningful and sincere but years later I found out that those people were false friends.  It hurt at the moment but then everything became crystal clear.  I don’t hate them but I don’t care about them either.  Feelings change, memories don’t.  I will always look back and laugh at the good times. #smiling 

At the end of the day, you know deep inside who your true friends are.  If you have a true friend, cherish them because once you lose them you will never get them back.

Until later..

Peace & Love xox

No luck with men…

I was having a random conversation with a friend today when he mentioned that one of his friends has no luck with men.  No luck with men?  Meaning what? I could not help but ask, I was definitely curious.  He just didn’t understand why she was always complaining and looking for faults in men.  No one was ever right or good enough for her.  The reasons she gave him were absurd.  I could not help but laugh because it wasn’t my first time hearing these ridiculous comments. 

• His nose is too big.
• He talks too much.
• His teeth are ugly.
• He is too nice. (Really?)
• etc etc etc

Well you get the idea…   Some ladies are not willing to give a man a chance just because he has a defect (in her eyes)?  I know we are only attracted by what we see but sometimes you need to look for the good inside them and learn to look past the big nose.  Give them a chance he may actually be a good guy!  Yes, good guys still exist.

There is nothing wrong with having high standards, just don’t make them so high up that they are impossible to reach.  You can’t expect to find the perfect man when you’re being critical and judgmental because if you haven’t looked in the mirror lately, you are not perfect.  Guess what, no one is.  I know that sounds harsh but it’s the truth.

My dear friend, Please tell your girl to stop being so critical and learn to have some fun.  Give it too her straight. It might be her attitude. She will appreciate it.  🙂

I can’t pretend to know what it feels like to be single and know your pain but just know that when the time is right you too will meet the man of your dreams.  Well, not the man in a fairy tale because they don’t exist but close too it.  Just make sure you’re awake and not let him get away.

What are the craziest stories you’ve heard?

Peace & Love xox

Has your spouse changed?

Are you still with or married to the man or woman you first met and fell in love with?  Think about it for a minute.  Have they changed?  Of course they have.  We all change at some point in life.  It may be physical or intellectual but it’s a change non the less.

Are you married to the person that loved everything you did before marriage and now years later, they hate it all?  Why is that?  I can only assume they were only pretending to fit in so they wouldn’t be left out. #thought?

The man I married is still the same except for:

• His hair is more salt than pepper. (Platinum)
• His waist line is larger.
• He is older and wiser.
• He takes meds for HBP (age & stress)
• He is a gambler. (yikes)

When we met 18 1/2 years ago …

• He was a character. (Still is..)
• He made me laugh. (Still does..)
• He was jealous. (Still is..)
• He loved to talk. (Still does..)

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

Now it’s turn… make your list. 😉

I think I need to ask my hubs if I have changed..JAJA

I wonder what he would say…? 😉

Peace & Love xox