Doubt

I’ve learned that when something is eating me up inside that I have to face the issue head on. It’s not always the easiest questions to ask but I rather ask then stay with doubt. Doubt ruins everything…wouldn’t you agree?

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

Today, I asked a dear friend some tough questions, I just needed to look into his eyes and get his reaction. It wasn’t easy, to be honest. I didn’t think about the consequences of knowing the truth. I didn’t care. I just needed to know even if that meant having my heart-broken. I rather be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie because the truth hurts only once but a lie every time you remember it.

There is no room in my garden of orchids, for seeds of doubt.

Peace & Love xox

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QUIET!

How do you write about something without revealing or saying too much? Is that even possible!? Yes, no, maybe!? Hello, anyone? Out of respect, I have chosen to stay mum hence turning my noise into silence.  I’m not good at keeping quiet when I want to express my thoughts, feelings and opinions. Has this happen to you? What do you do?

propaganda_quiet

It’s not easy if you ask me (biting my tongue), perhaps that’s the reason some people don’t talk to me; out of fear that I will write about their issues. Why not? You are not alone, everyone has or is going through the same and/or similar struggle, I’m just the voice who wants to share her opinion. Maybe later I will write about it but for now…

Knowing what I know, I will not betray my friends wishes.  In this case, silence is golden.

Until later…

Peace & Love xoxo

Friendships…

It never seems to amaze me that some people don’t know the meaning of FRIENDSHIP.  I’m pretty sure I have already ranted on this subject in my earlier blogs but that’s O.K. I will continue the rant. 😉

Friendship isn’t a big thing it’s a million little things.

True friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient, it’s about being there when it’s not.

You have probably heard these statements before and for me they are both true. The doors of friendship swings both ways.  It is not a one way street.  I’m not saying that if you have a best friend you need to talk to them 24/7 – 7 days a week, but at least make the time to catch up during the week.  My best friend and I don’t talk on the phone everyday but we do text often and once a week (if we can) we meet up for girl time gossip/catch up.   We are both our own person and we say what’s on our mind even if we disagree with each other. 

I don’t know about you, but I rather a friend who is her own person and speaks what’s in her heart oppose to a friend that only agrees with me.  If I wanted to talk to myself all I have to do is look in the mirror.   You need a friend who is going to give you a different perspective on things.  When you listen with an open mind and hold no judgements you can take in whatever they say and see it from their point of view even if you disagree.  No need to get upset and storm off like a child. 

My best friend and I have been friends for almost 19 yrs.  Amazing, right!?  I can tell you that we are completely different in many ways but that’s the magic of it.  She knows I’m flawed and I know she’s flawed.  We are not perfect and sometimes we may say things that may hurt but if you have a solid friendship you can be honest and speak up. 

I’ve had other friendships in the past that I thought were meaningful and sincere but years later I found out that those people were false friends.  It hurt at the moment but then everything became crystal clear.  I don’t hate them but I don’t care about them either.  Feelings change, memories don’t.  I will always look back and laugh at the good times. #smiling 

At the end of the day, you know deep inside who your true friends are.  If you have a true friend, cherish them because once you lose them you will never get them back.

Until later..

Peace & Love xox

People who don’t reply back…

I hate, absolutely hate it, when I send someone a text message and they don’t reply back.  How difficult is it to reply? It’s just pressing a few buttons, not rocket science.  I don’t expect a reply back within 60 seconds but at least have the courtesy to reply back before the day is over.

Yeah yeah…

Everyone has days they don’t want to talk or text with anyone and that’s fine but if you receive multiple calls or texts from one person, then take a minute and reply.  It could be something urgent.

Not replying back is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Yesterday, I sent my friend three messages, yes three but no reply.  This morning still no reply.  When he finally returned my call he was like, “Is everything O.K.?”  “No fucker, I needed you yesterday, I’m doing just peachy.” Seriously?  Perhaps I’m spoiled or just expect too much. I don’t find it difficult to reply back when I receive his messages. !@!%#@  Note to self: Your friend is an asshole but you love him. 😉

In the good old days when we didn’t have cell phones, we picked up the phone (land line) and called everyone.  We would even show up on their doorstep just to make sure they were O.K. if no one picked up the phone.  These days if you call and they don’t answer, you send a text – if that doesn’t work, you leave a message on Face book, and if that doesn’t work you tweet them.  You can’t hide anymore! #truth

Or if you’re like me you’ll blog about it because you know your friend will read it. LOL

The next time you receive three or more messages from someone just answer or call back, it really could be something important.

Peace and Love xox

Friends don’t abandon friends.

Real friends don’t dismiss or ignore their best friends just because they have a new relationship. (Maybe) Instead of meeting twice a week for dinner, you would meet once a week & talk every other day rather than three or four times a day.  It would be small changes.  Friendship isn’t a big thing, it’s a million little things. 

I have been married for almost 18 years and I meet with my best friend once a week for some girl time and gossip.  #GIRLTIME

It’s only natural to want to spend all your time with your new man, but don’t forget about the one friend (YOUR CONFIDANT)  who has always been there for you during the good and bad times.  How difficult is it to pick up the phone?  Why ignore the calls? You don’t need to be tied to his umbilical cord in order to prove that you care about him.  Don’t you think he needs space?  He has his own friends, or did you forget that?   Is your man is telling you to cut all ties with your friends?  (Are they toxic?)  If not – RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!  Why wouldn’t he want you to continue to have your best friend by your side?  There is no reason why your friendship has to change just because you have a boyfriend.

At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness – a man will not do that for you.  When he leaves your heart-broken in pieces, who will you call?  What’s more important?  The fight or the friend?  It gets tired, when a friend does this repeatedly and expects you to immediately come to their rescue upon heartache.  Don’t call them only when you have a problem with the new boyfriend when they have not heard from you in months.  You think its O.K. to come around now and expect them to be there for you.  I think NOT.

“Invest your time and energy in the friends who are capable of calling you when they are in love.  These multi-tasking friends are less selfish, draining or flaky and definitely more stable, dependable and loyal.”

If this a familiar pattern, then it’s time to re-evaluate your friendship. Have you tried talking to your best friend?  (Maybe) That person who you thought was your best friend could just be a toxic acquaintance.    People do change.  It’s sad but true.

What about those friends who dismiss and ignore  you when they meet another friend?  I call them “The flavor of the month friend.”  ——  I know many of these.  LOL 😉  I don’t take it personal because they are not real friends, just people passing by.

“True friendship isn’t about being there when its convenient, it’s about being there when it’s not.”

Until tomorrow… Peace & Love xox

Friend or Foe?

What is a friend?  Do you know?   After reading the definition in the Merriam-Webster.  All I know for sure is that a friend is a noun. LOL 😉   Friends are there for each other in the good, the bad & the ugly. You don’t consider everyone a friend but you also don’t go around introducing a person as an acquaintance either.  You determine which category a person is as time goes by.

I recently experienced a “friend break-up” by email?  Yes, by email and it didn’t make any sense… What type of person does that?  Why would a person befriend you for so many years and end things on a sour note?  Were they a fake friend? Did they actually care and value my friendship?

It makes me question the entire friendship.  Actions speak louder than words!  I should have listened to some wise folks from the beginning.  :/  Oh well.. friends come and go or is the fake ones… lol

Feelings change, people change, memories don’t.  I will always those happy memories.

-When people walk away from you, let them go. It doesn’t mean they’re bad, but their part in your story is over.-   You live and learn.

Follow these simple rules to break up with a friend :

DO’s

  1. Pick up the phone – talk it out
  2. Meet for coffee – talk it out
  3. Just talk it out

DONT’s

  1. Don’t send an email or text message without a valid explanation.
  2. Don’t ignore calls, text or emails.
  3. Don’t involve mutual friends/family.
It’s better to have closure then to wonder…. wouldn’t you agree!?
Until tomorrow….. xoxo

I’ll leave you with this quote: “The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”  ❤ ❤