Would you stay in a failed marriage for the kids?

If you know me, you will know that I am married with NO kids.  So now you’re probably wondering why in the world would be I asking such a random question.  Well, its simple, I have plenty of friends who are married with kids and not everything is as it seems.  I am pretty certain that you know a few couples that seem to have it all together and when you see them as a family all you can think is ‘what a beautiful family, they look so in-love and happy’  That is not the case 90% of the time. In front of everyone even their own family — they put up a front, but when they get home their true colors come to light {resentment sets in – doors are slammed – threats are made…etc etc etc.}  Of course knowing this information, I have to ask WHY?  They all replied “For the sake of the kids.”  Now this definitely sparked my curiosity.

I’m not a parent or pretend to know what it feels like to be one.  I know it’s a special kind of love that only a mother or father can describe.  Like my mother always says “Just wait until you have your own, and you will know.”  Dear Mom, I can’t wait! 😉

I posted the question to my timeline today and got a few replies. Would you stay in a failed marriage for the kids? Everyone said “NO” with the exception of a few who will remain anonymous. I can’t imagine how difficult it was to walk away because at the end, it’s the kids who will suffer more.   It’s heart breaking!  You have to do whats best for you and your family even if that means walking away.

One friend sent me private message and wrote the following: “I was a stay-at-home Dad to the kids for over two years when they were young.  I watched them grow and attend school for the first time.  I was there when they spoke their first words, took their first steps.  I bathed them, fed them.  To go from that to twice a week has been unbearable for me.  I miss them dearly every moment I am away from their unconditional love.  I gave up on my marriage, and it has been very painful.  It damages EVERYONE, but most of all, the children.  If I was given a second chance I would try, try, and try again to keep the family together.”

I was truly saddened when I read his story and if I had the power, I would turn back time and let him have a second chance.  Unfortunately, I don’t have that power but I’m a firm believer that everything works out for the best.  Dear Friend, Be strong!

I can’t speak for anyone, but after hearing their stories they made the decisions that were best for them.   No judgement on my part.  I also believe any separation which involves children at any age is very difficult. It’s sad but true. Nobody wins!

To all my friends going through this difficult time, please be strong and have faith that this too shall pass.  If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.  

God bless.

Until tomorrow… Peace & Love. xoxo

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2 thoughts on “Would you stay in a failed marriage for the kids?

  1. I wouldn’t stay in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of the children. The children KNOW when mommy and daddy aren’t really happy or are just pretending. Worse if there are fights. One phrase I heard a long time ago and believe in is that it is much better to come from a broken home than to live in one. Parents, if your marriage is over, don’t drag it out for “the sake of the kids”. That helps no one especially if they’re at an impressionable age because we certainly don’t want them thinking that how dysfunctional your relationship is, is how healthy relationships are supposed to look. Uh Uh!

  2. Hi Tia. You are right! I can’t imagine being in that position but I wouldn’t stay if my marriage was falling apart. BTW: I’m loving all your blogs — I gain a pound everytime I read one.. 😉 It all looks so tasty. Have a great day!

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