Ultimatums..blah blah blah

Should you allow your spouse to give you an ultimatum?   My answer is NO!  Why should you have too?  Communication is the KEY in any relationship or marriage.  If there is something your spouse is doing that bothers you, address the issue and find a solution — talk it out. The moment you tell them to choose what YOU want or ELSE, that’s the moment you cross the line.   The vows say: For better or worse NOT: Do as I say or else I’ll leave you.  If that was the case, no one would get married.  Do you really want to be with anyone that you had to strong-arm?

An ultimatum offers the ultimate role reversal.  It puts you, the victim, in control.  Understandably, that’s appealing.   Feels good right?  Just because something feels good does not mean it is good.  

I don’t know if it’s just the Sagittarius in me but ultimatums are one thing I don’t allow. Whenever I have an issue with my hubs, I talk it out immediately.  I don’t threaten him with divorce. I don’t dwell or fill a glass until it’s full then explode. I like to nip things in the but immediately but if I need to take a day or two to cool down and gather my thoughts, I take the time.   I don’t cry wolf every time there is a problem and then come back with my tail between my legs. {I have too much pride for that.} Tough love doesn’t always work.

– When you and your spouse are holding on, the last thing you want to do is push them over the edge. – 

It doesn’t matter what your spouse is doing — only they can choose when to stop.  If it’s something very destructive that affects your marriage then YOU need to make a choice for yourself and family.  If leaving them is the only solution, then leave — it takes courage to walk away but sometimes it’s the best decision to make.  No one should tell you otherwise.  Always think twice before making any rash decisions — you might end up alone and full of regret.

“If you want to restore your marriage, do not give your spouse an ultimatum.  It will not work.”

We can agree to disagree.  Everyone is different, every marriage is different.  In my opinion, I don’t believe in ultimatums. You have choices but don’t try to implement the “It’s my way or the highway” rule, It’s not going to work. Well, unless you’re married to a submissive woman or a man who has no balls…LOL

– There are things that we don’t want to happen, but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go. –

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” – Lucille Ball

Until tomorrow… Peace & Love xoxo

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3 thoughts on “Ultimatums..blah blah blah

  1. Very good post. They can only change when they are ready and when they want to so if they’re not changing fast enough, then a person should do what they have to but threatening them does not eliminate the problem. Maybe short term but definitely not in the long run.

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